Skyline

Do Jeff Goldblum and Will Smith save the day in a stolen alien hot rod, driving across 250,000 miles of space in just under two minutes and detonating a nuclear bomb in the belly of the mother ship just after setting loose a computer virus that freakishly works on both Apple and alien operating systems?

Apologies if anyone has 'Independence Day' on their Netflix que and was waiting to see it for the very first time.

Here we have the teaser for 'Skyline' which roped me in upon a first viewing based simply on style and tone, but upon a second viewing, came with the full realization that not only had I seen virtually everything in it before, but really not all that long ago.

But just so that I don't have to start with the bad stuff, 'Skyline' does make good use of a fairly recent news piece where Stephen Hawking was quoted as saying that mankind should avoid trying to contact extra-terrestrial life, as it could have disastrous consequences for the planet and her population. Insert twenty-year-old joke here about how we thought lawyers were bad!

The trailer does hold a masterful tone, keeping itself limited to real news broadcasts and Spielbergian creepy images, mostly consisting of, "what are we looking at?" kinda stuff. This blend lends it a sense of reality that quickly makes the dangers even more dangerous.

Music is kept from being overwhelming and the trailer's tight run-time keeps the tension high right up until the final image hits.

Now for the rest.

I can't help but feel like this is simply a mish-mash of everything we have seen before. Now I know, I know... the argument is that we have no original stories anymore. Probably true. But can we at least do some fresh visuals?

The falling blue special effects look suspiciously like the alien creatures being delivered to their underground vessels in Spielberg's 2005 "War of the Worlds." The glowing spheres concealing the alien vessel within is directly from the remake of "The Day the Earth Stood Still." The huge alien vessels laying waste to humanity from above are obviously taken from "Independence Day" And those with really keen ears will notice a suspiciously Transformers-ian sound effect at the :53-second mark.

Now check out this trailer for Michael Bay's "Transformers" and skip ahead to :38 seconds in.



This says two things to me: 1) that the makers of 'Skyline' aren't only ripping off visuals from other alien-invasion flicks, they're stealing sounds, too and 2) that I should probably seek help for my condition and take up knitting or something.

Now I come to the final question with which I will wrestle for several hours before bed -- the last shot of this teaser is of Mega-Maid sucking up humans by the thousands. There's lots of screaming and crying and from the extreme wide-angle look we get of the event, it seems fairly unpleasant. This leads to the general assumption that these aliens are here to harm us. Big surprise, get in line, everyone out there hates Earth.

The question in this is whether the trailer would have been better-suited holding onto its mystery element and letting audiences wonder if these creatures really are here to hurt us? The opening of the trailer sets a nice, ominous tone with Stephen Hawking's warnings about alien life mixing with ours, but the fact remains that this is still a suggestion. A guess.

Would a more clever ending have been for us to simply not know what their intentions are? Make you get to the theater to find out? Maybe if JJ Abrams was directing, but with the Brothers Strause...?

Of course not, and here is where I simultaneously contradict myself and give in to my 12-year-old boy yearnings... that last shot (the money shot) is going to get me into the theater. The spectacle of human carnage that is impossibly ridiculous is way too appealing to let slide and I will tee-hee in the car the whole way there.

For originality, the trailer (and the movie) gets huge marks off, but if I can manage Roland Emmerich disaster movies over and over again, this one deserves a shot. And based on the scale of Mega-Maid sucking all those little people up? It deserves a shot on the big screen.

"In Theaters."

Picture opens November 12.

Until next time!

(*Worth noting, the Brothers Strause (directors) last major release was Alien vs. Predator - Reqiuem. And if that doesn't fill you with confidence, the pic is exec produced by Brett Ratner. Just saying.)

Greats of Yester-year: Star Wars - Episode II: Attack of the Clones

Every great movie villain is accompanied by some menacing sound so that when they arrive on screen, you know not only because you can see them standing there in all their dark glory, but because you can hear them. They assault your senses and combat your efforts to remain comfortable and unafraid.

The titular shark in Jaws had his famous movie theme. The monster in the first alien film had a heartbeat sound. Godzilla (when he was a villain, back before he got silly) had the horrible sound of his approaching footsteps.

These indicators get the blood going and create the sense of dread that tells you that any moment, evil will descend upon the story and when it does, horror will follow.

I spoil nothing for anyone by saying here that among the most famous movie villain sounds is the mechanical breathing belonging to the Star Wars franchises' Darth Vader. When he first walked onto the screen, stepping through a cloud of smoke, the black silhouette in the bright white hallway, we heard his breathing and instantly became fascinated with Vader, busying ourselves with questions like, "Is he a man?" "Is he a robot?" "Is he something else?"

George Lucas would later go on to make up the answers to these questions and find ultimately unsatisfying ways of presenting the information to us, but that sound -- that Darth Vader sound -- the noise that never quickened, never faltered, the sound that was evil. That was something that we couldn't get enough of.

Flash ahead to the year 2001, when audiences had had two years to put the oddly dissatisfying "Phantom Menace" behind them and hope that Lucas would get it together for the remaining films in his opus. The hope that "Episode I" would be the weak link in the Star Wars saga was alive and well.

Our first glimmer of hope that this might actually be the case came on the night of November 2, 2001, when Disney and Pixar released "Monsters, Inc." And with each print, the first look at footage from the frightfully-named "Attack of the Clones."

Not only did Lucasfilm win back some goodwill with a clever spattering of imagery that Star Wars geeks the world over were giddy to see (Boba Fett's armor, C-3P0 with his skin, a new actor playing the role of Anakin), but it was presented as a classy reminder of where the story was headed, and the delightfully dark places the saga was going to take us.

After all, the prequel trilogy is about the birth of evil and what better way to remind people of that then to remind them who the baddest bad guy in the galaxy really is?

And it worked. Prior to the release of "Attack of the Clones," expectations were back on track, hopes were high, and the belief that the last one was just a mis-step was fairly solid among many in the fan community who bothered to discuss the film beyond the time it took to actually pay to see it.

Darth Vader, the most evil, terrifying, powerful villain in the galaxy was at the center of the new story we were being told, and this teaser made a quick reminder of it.

We eventually got our Vader in the prequel films. Sigh.

The Other Guys

Sitting down to watch this trailer for 'The Other Guys' I was surprised to see what I was sure would be a funny movie starring Samuel L. Jackson and Dwayne Johnson as two tough New York City cops who were sure to follow the classic formula -- ridiculous action junkies who are impervious to bullets (save for that late third act flesh wound), bitterly divorced and alone while having only each other, and funny as hell because hey... they're so mis-matched! How can that not be funny?

Then the trailer reveals the real main characters and the stroke of genius becomes apparent. Jackson and Johnson are the set-up. Will Ferrell and Mark Wahlberg are the stars. Two even more mis-matched cops who quite literally annoy the hell out of each other and who are as far on the opposite side of the spectrum as the action heroes. That's definitely funnier than the original funny premise was sure to be, which was very funny itself.

'The Other Guys' trailer ingeniously breaks some rules by waiting 30 seconds before even showing Will Ferrell or Mark Wahlberg, insisting upon an action scene starring the more obvious action stars instead.

These stories are tied together when Mace Windu and The Rock come back to the police station to receive love and adoration from their peers before verbally abusing Will Ferrell, who excitedly snaps off photos of them as they do it. It makes sense in the trailer. And is also hilarious.

The advantage in advertising talent-led comedy (as opposed to concept-led comedy, ala 'Knocked Up' or 'The Hangover') is that for a preview like this, you really only need to show a few comic bits featuring your actors to really get the idea of what you're in for. You don't need to understand the plot.

So while I now understand what to expect from 'The Other Guys,' I can't really tell you what it's about. I'm sure somewhere along the way, Ferrell and Wahlberg get involved in a case that seems ridiculous, turns out quite complex, and earns them the respect of their peers. That's just a guess...

... but c'mon.

The selected scenes work and are all funny, even if we have seen most of it before: the bad cop accidentally talking the potential suicide into jumping is hardly original, and Will Ferrell's man-child has been made famous by every single Will Ferrell movie in history. I have to credit the guy; depending on the scenario and his surrounding talent, this still works.

Wahlberg on the other side looks to make an amazing straight-man, since he looks like he's usually annoyed anyway, pairing him with Ferrell is inspired.

Rounding out the supporting cast (as far as the trailer tells us) besides Jackson and Johnson are Eva Mendes as Ferrell's 'ball & chain' (another great gag in the trailer) and Michael Keaton playing the police chief, a welcome return to more adult comedy (and just a welcome return in general...)

There are likely few real surprises or thrills in 'The Other Guys,' but that's not what I'm buying. If those occur, they will be an added bonus. Based on the collection of bits and the promise from the performers involved, this gets no less than an 'Opening Night.'

Picture opens this Friday, August 6.

Until next time!